Bonding with Baby: What to Do If the Connection Isn’t Immediate

by | Oct 31, 2022 | Postpartum Therapy

We’ve all heard so much about childbirth and taking care of a baby that we already have an idea of what things are supposed to look like. One of these things is bonding with our baby. Do you think creating a connection with your baby is something immediate? If so, you’re not the only one. But it’s important to know that it’s not always the case.

Sometimes, we have a difficult time connecting with our baby. Sometimes, the connection isn’t instant. That’s okay. Just because the connection didn’t happen within moments doesn’t mean you will never be able to bond with your baby. It just means it’ll take some time and effort and your part. Here are a few things you can do.


This Is Normal

It’s important to be aware that this is more common than you’d think. Not everyone bonds with their baby immediately, and that’s okay. It’s normal. And, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter whether the bond was created within hours or within weeks.

What matters is that, at the end of it all, you’ve managed to create a real bond between you and your baby. The strength of the bond between you and your baby is what’s important, and the time it took to establish that connection is completely irrelevant.

Attend to Your Baby’s Needs

This might sound obvious, but in order to encourage a connection between you and your baby, it’s important to take care of their needs. Be there when they cry and try to figure out why they’re doing so. Are they hungry? Do they need a diaper change? Do they simply want attention?

It’s okay if you don’t get it right on the first try. You’ll be there for your baby, and the two of you will figure it out. That’s the type of interaction that can really encourage a bond between the two of you.


Offer Skin-to-Skin Contact

Skin-to-skin contact, including breastfeeding, is important for babies. Touch is important for our well-being, even as adults. But for babies, skin-to-skin contact is essential. It can help them feel more connected to you, and it can help you feel more connected to them.

It’s also important to spend time with them outside of just feeding them and changing their diapers. Doing things with them, even when they’re not really aware of what you’re doing, encourages a bond between the two of you. Nurture your baby, and your bond will only become stronger.

Take Care of Yourself

Having a baby is difficult, no doubt, and it’s possible that you might stop taking care of yourself while you adjust to this big change. But if you don’t take care of yourself, your baby will feel it and that can become an obstacle to creating a bond between the two of you.

Make sure you get enough rest. It can be difficult with a baby, but it’s something we all need. Make sure you’re eating well. Try to carve in some time for yourself, to do maybe one activity you really like that brings you joy. It will make you feel better overall, and your baby will feel that too.

Get Help If You Need It

While anyone can have trouble bonding with their baby, some conditions make it even more difficult for you to do so. If you suspect you might have something like postpartum depression, don’t be afraid to seek counselling. These things are difficult to deal with on your own, and there’s nothing wrong with getting help when you need it.

If you have trouble connecting with your baby, and you don’t think you have postpartum depression or anxiety, that’s okay. You might benefit from counselling too. Raising a child is a difficult task, and you deserve to be supported through it all. Don’t hesitate to schedule an appointment. You’ll see how, with a little help, you and your baby will be able to have a beautiful connection.

To learn more about how Mindful Reflections can help, check out our Postpartum Therapy page.

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