How to Parent While Coping With Birth Trauma

by Shaina Feingold | Feb 8, 2023 | Birth Trauma Therapy

As a parent, coping with birth trauma is a difficult thing. Whether you have one child or several, it can be tough to find the right way to parent them while also dealing with your trauma and trying to move past it, especially with a newborn now in the mix. It can be quite chaotic and overwhelming, but it is possible to find a way to balance your healing journey and your parenting journey.

There is no single perfect way to do it, no matter how much we wish there was. Everybody is different and different techniques work for everybody. But there are a few things you can keep in mind as you navigate this difficult period in your life.

woman-cradling-the-baby-in-her-arms-on-her-lap

Be Kind to Yourself

This might sound a little obvious, but it’s always good to remember to be kind to yourself. Life is difficult for you right now. You have to focus on parenting, and you have to try to deal with your trauma in a healthy way. You won’t always get everything right, but that doesn’t make you a terrible parent. It just means you’re doing the best you can, and sometimes you slip up. But you can get back up again.

Being kind to yourself is the best thing you can do right now, especially if you don’t have a lot of support. But you can get through this. All you have to do is keep moving forward, and one day you’ll be amazed by how far you’ve come on your journey.

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Bond With Your Baby

It’s normal to have difficulties bonding with your baby after birth trauma, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Attending to their needs is an important part of that, but it isn’t enough. Make sure you also have as much skin-to-skin contact as you can. It’s one of the best ways to help build that bond with your baby if it doesn’t build up on its own.

Of course, this can be difficult if you’ve got other children to watch over. Still, try to carve out a space where you can spend a moment or two with your baby. Maybe ask your partner to mind the other children. Or, you could also bathe together with your baby, as long as all safety precautions are taken.

Spend Time Together

Don’t forget to take time to have fun with your family. If you have other, older children, try to spend some time together doing fun activities that don’t put you under too much strain. It’s possible to have some good moments during difficult times. All you have to do is keep in mind your limits as you organise them.

Spend some time with your baby too, beyond attending to their needs and in those moments of skin-to-skin contact. This will only strengthen your bond with the baby, and you’ll be grateful for these memories in the future.

Seek Help

Birth trauma is not an easy thing to deal with on your own, and you don’t have to. If you feel overwhelmed trying to balance your recovery with parenting, then don’t be afraid to get help. Support groups can help you meet other people with birth trauma, and you can help each other as you strive to heal from what happened. On the parenting side, you could ask for help from other family members you trust on days when you struggle to find your footing.

If that is not enough, then make an appointment with us. Counseling can help you heal from your birth trauma, but it can also help you untangle all the parts of your life that are making this period so difficult for you. All you have to do is make the first step.

To learn more about how Mindful Reflections can help, check out our Birth Trauma Therapy page.

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