Hi! Thanks for tuning in to the first episode of Shaina’s Stories. Today is just a prologue to the main series. My hope is that a couple times a month I will be able to give you bits and pieces of my story to shed some light onto my journey and how I got where I am.
Now I’m not anybody special. I’m not famous, I’m not a millionaire, not really the most popular, (which I don’t really know what that means as an adult), and most people probably won’t even see this. But, I do have a story.
We all have burdens and struggles
Even when on the outside we want to appear like we have it all together, we don’t always. For most of my life, people have said to me Shaina, “you’re so strong”. When I hear that, I always think in the back of my head, “okay, but what other options do I have?” What does strength even mean? Does it mean that I can’t fall apart? Does it mean that if people see my pain that I’m somehow weak?
Now I’ve learned to hide what I go through very well. Nobody sees what happens behind closed doors, or what’s happening inside of me, and I don’t really let them. We don’t often get to choose our stories. We just have to learn to navigate them. Despite my story, I would say I’m a relatively functional human. I have two beautiful sons, I have a family, a job, friends, and an overall good life. Yet, when someone asked me what it is that I miss in my life. The first thing that came to my mind was joy and laughter. Now these aren’t things that I have been missing for a day, a week, or a month. No it has probably been a decade, maybe more.
No need for labels
I know that many people watching this might be thinking, okay Shaina, that’s depression. Maybe you’re right from a medical perspective it is depression. But, to me the label doesn’t really matter. To me, I want to know what’s behind that pain. Perhaps genetics plays a part, but they’re not the cause. They just gave me some predisposition to how I manage or cope with a certain situation or situations. For me I need to get to the bottom of the pain because if I get to the bottom of it then what’s on the other side could be amazing. I’m slowly getting there! That’s why I’m here today, and this is why I said this is the prologue to my series. I want you to understand my journey, and how I got where I am today. If I can help just one person realize that they can have that joy and that laughter, or that life that they want to live, then I’ve done something.
This is one of the hardest things for me. Like I said previously, I keep people at a pretty far distance. Therefore, showing people what’s on the inside is terrifying. I am a true believer that you don’t necessarily have to talk about your problems or struggles in order to solve them. Actually, quite the opposite. You have to feel them and process them first through the brain and the body.
Where I am today is not the beginning of my journey. I started my transformational journey a couple years ago. It’s because of that journey that I’m able to be here and talk about it today. You have to process all the stuff on a deeper level in order to allow your brain and your body to truly transform and heal. We all have the capacity to do it. I am still doing my work. Afterall, we are all a work in progress.
It’s time to share my story
I want to share my stories with the world because I really do believe that everybody has the capacity to live a life that they love and so I hope people tune in. I don’t really know where this is going. I don’t know what’s next. Unfortunately, life doesn’t give us a preview. Nonetheless, I hope you follow alone. I will be giving you a little bit at a time, so stay tuned. I hope to see you again soon! Bye.